Our church is going thru a sermon series called Self Talk. How we talk to ourselves matters. Our Pastor asked us, the first week, "What would future you tell present day you?" This question annoyed me. If I knew future me I would know the future and therefore have all the answers!
I posed this question and my irritation with my community group. Their wisdom was profound. They said, future you would probably tell present you what you would tell past you. Meaning, my future self would say the same things I would tell my younger self. I had to ponder this. What would i say to my younger self?
What a question! How many times have we heard the phase, "if I knew then what I know now!"
I started to think about the mistakes and regrets that I have plenty of. What would I try to avoid? How would I avoid it?
I thought about you. I am an "older mom." I had my kids later than the average mom. While friends were having children in their 20s, I waited till I was 30. Would I change that? No. I was not ready to have children, and no amount of future knowledge would change that. God's timing is perfect and you came at the perfect time.
What I would tell myself to save myself from heartache and headache, that I would have rather avoided is this:
Your worth, your value and ultimately your purpose are from God and God alone.The majority of the mistakes I've made, past present and probably future have come from me striving to find my self worth.
Here's what I would tell myself thru my life stages.
In elementary I would tell myself, that those jeans and those clothes would make you no more valuable than the girls with the expensive wardrobe. And their treatment of you, for not having the right clothes, does not dictate you worth.
In junior high, I would tell myself, your parent's multiple breakups have nothing to do with you. Although they fight about you and your siblings, you do not hold them together. No amount of better behavior will save their marriage. It is not about you. It is about them.
In high school, I would tell myself that the boyfriend does not define you. No amount of your time, energy, emotion or your body will be enough to give you or him what you both need.
In college I would tell myself that your talent or lack thereof does not give you value. Races won or not won, points scored or not scored, passing or failing grades does not give you anymore value than the non athlete or the academician. And the teammates, roommates and coworkers that clamor and grasp and leave you out and snub you are JUST AS LOST AS YOU, and trying to find their self worth too.
In grad school, I would tell myself to save my money. I would say save the sleep for something worth losing sleep over. Those letters behind your name will not matter. You will not be more important, more validated or more worthy because you have a master's degree. It will not change your path, or your worth.
As a newly wed, I would tell myself to love my husband but not find my worth in his eyes. He is his owe person with his own dreams and struggles. And when you rely on him to give you worth and value, not only are you disappointed but you are worried, afraid and anxious. None of these things draw him closer to you, in fact they push him away.
As a new mom, I would tell myself to rest. There is no book, no method, no training for newborns. They are hard. And when it is hard, it does not mean you are less of a mom. It just means that it is hard.
You are of infinite value. And when you feel insecure spend time with the savior that loves you and gave His life for you. Stop and pray. Read scripture and write down your insecurities. Spend time alone and time with another that knows your worth.
The more you know about the Savior, the more you will know about yourself. And the more you know about yourself, the less you will need others to validate you. The more you know about the love of the savior, the less things of this world you will need to fill the void that only He can fill.
So what would future me tell me now? I think I know.
Spend more time with the savior. Take your worries, your insecurities and your heart to the Father. Your past value and future comfort will come from Him because He loves you.
Scripture to get you started and helped me:
Teach me your way, Lord, that I may rely on your faithfulness;
give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths, from the realm of the dead. Psalms 86:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will callon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13
The Lord appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31:3
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. Matthew 10:29-31
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